What use to be and now...

"Natasha completed the quiz
"Which book of the Bible are
you?" with the result Ecclesiastes.
You're a hardheaded realist burned once too often
by the flaws of others and the emptiness of what society calls "success." Your
wisdom comes from the school of hard knocks, which makes you a great advisor.
You can't stand fake sunniness and social climbing; you're true, even if you're
a little blue. Your eyes are clear, so without denying the reality of evil, make
sure you also look at the goodness that's taking place around you. "
.

As you can see I took a quiz on 'which book in the Bible am I'.. just for fun on facebook, (yup, trust me to do this kind of quiz instead of all the other silly ones).. what made me do it? well firstly, the title looks interesting, secondly I was curious on how the end results would look like..

Surprisingly it was not bad.. not bad at all, (this is because some quiz gives really weird answers ) Ecclesiates ey? when I was reading it at first I felt like.. NO! this is so not me.. then you know, when you start to question yourself and wonder.. you start to justify what kind of person WHO you SAY YOU ARE.. for me it was I am a happy person! I like sunniness and trees!

Then, you know how your train of thoughts just wonders and that train starts to blow steams from the past?.. I look back and yeah.. maybe I am a hard headed realist.. its true, I have been through alot in my whole 19 yrs living in this world. Mature I am, seeing, learning and experincing things that could make any person go crazy if they were living in my shoes.. at a very young age my sisters and I learn that the 'common rule in life' doesnt really apply to anyone.. we learn that not all grown ups are good and trustworthy people, Family members arent necessarily going to be loyal to you, and that money may not bring happiness but it gives you peace of mind.

All those I've learn at a tender age of 7. oh yeah, Im not boasting if say at that age I may have been more mature than any 20 year old at that time.. You see, I sometimes see age as nothing but a number and I can understand the logic of the longer you live the more you experince things, of course its true but only to a certain degree. Everyone goes through problems in life but I belive the only difference is the capacity of it all. I am not ignorant to how crazy the world has become this pass century and how suffering is no laughing matter. But all I can say is everytime I meet a person I try not to judge because I know that everyone is fighting their own battle, some stronger than others.

Yes, coming back to the quiz, its weird how words are connected right? how I jump shift thinking, that being a realist is being mature, and to like all the sunniness is being immature per se.. but what I am tiring to say is maybe it is true the first half but I belive that I have already pass the looking into the good side of the world. Another level of spiritual maturity I suppose. I believe God has brought about change in my life, guess thats why I appriciate the observer part of me.

So, its not immaturity that makes me happy when the sun comes out, or enjoying people's laughther and tiring to find 'good' in everything I see.. it is the outcome of being fed up of being a negative realist. Isn't it interesting how a quiz can make me think.. haha, just for fun try it but dont take it too seriously.. am I contradicting myself?