Selamat Ari Gawai..

Ari tu aku ka nulis dalam bahasa Iban, tang minta ampun, laban aku ndak biasa nulis dalam bahasa Iban deh, anang ketawak ke aku.Arap kita nemu nama utai di tulis aku la.. apuH! nulis *intro nyak ajak udah lepas 5 min..haha.. aku ka ngucap Selamat Ari Gawai ngagai semua bala dayak, ngau aku ka madah agai sapa-sapa pulai kampung, ati ati anang ngirup sampai palau, laban pulai kampung kena Gawai tahun tu, nyamai gi meh kitai nguna maya nyak ngau ini, aki, apai, indai, orang sebilik la.. jako ngau orang ke lama dah bedau temu.. nemu pengarap sesiko sama diri.. nya ajak meh, nama ke ka padah ngau pesan aku ngagai semua orang Iban sama ngau bala Bidayuh..

Definition of cool

I remembered in socio class, our Lecture said the word 'cool' has lost its true value espcially in this generation. To certify someone as 'cool' was like the ultimate praise anyone could receive back then, now the word 'cool' is used so losely.. so how do you define someone cool?.. the first thing that comes to my mind when I hear the word 'cool' is someone, wearing sunglasses, looking all confident.. and riding a bike.. Haha.. (dont laugh.. Bet u are thingking of it too).. well, looking back at some definition.. it's someone who is not afraid to be themselve, someone who is able to keep a level head in times of crisis, someone who stands for what they believe in, admits their weakness yet has the attitude of a teachable heart, a sense of positive confidents in them, that builds trust in anyone who comes near them and someone who is daring enough to take risk. Simply said, to me 'Cool' people are usually those who is not settled with just fitting in.. but they are the ones that dare to stand out for good or bad.. so from now onwards, the word 'cool' will be used to show my highest act of respect to anyone who I believe qualified to be known as one.. =D.

Ps: Apple here is your update! look! there is even a pic of me! not one but 4!!!...I have a new handphone.. Thanks one 'cool' person..

All this while you were there...

I didnt even notice.. sorry. Last tuesday I went for a conference called worship central, it was lead by Tim hughes and Al Gordon.. quote" Passion needs Courage".. truer words were never spoken.. sometime its not passion thats lacking.. its courage.. the courage to look at your comfortable life and denying yourself, every selfish desire, arrogant reflection, chains of the past that is holding you down.. giving every brokeness to HIM, the only one who can lovingly make you whole again.. I struggled..

Intellectualism gets the better of me.. sometimes I forget to stop and stand in awe of the wonders of Your works.. the ocean, the mountains and the complexity of Humans.. YOU made it all.. see what I mean by being factual?..I just listed out the things that you can see only with your eyes.. even though You made all those.. yet, what made me realise your presence is that, our relationship is not just the standard Creator and the Created.. yet, more like a Father and a Child.. for the first time that night I saw YOU smile.. it took me time to grasp that that You were actually always there for me in times of good, bad and boring... YOU see me when I am alone and with my friends, You know who I really am.. You cheered for me, You cried with me.. I finally understood, all this while praying.. I didnt know how differently I thought of YOU untill that night..who before now, only saw you as a first aid kid, only running to You in troubled times.. sorry... with this new revelation.. I want to honour You and make You Proud.. now, that I can see You clearly..

I dont want!!!!

The picture so cute however, I purposely chose this to ease the intensity of the post. Let me ask you a question how many of you out there hate.. wait hate is to harsh of a word.. ok, dislike Stubborn people?.. ohw yeah.. EVERYONE.. they just make life hard.. people who just wont give in to things and always wanting things to be done their way.. like a Baby.. BUT my focus is more on the adults? how are we to respect them if they are the one acting like a selfish child?.. we are advice to respect the older generation but what if they are the one that is making it hard?..Well we just do it anyway, by the philosophy "if you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all".. sigh.. Yes, I understand the whole concept of respecting your elders.. especially in our Asian culture which is a good thing of course.. but again.. I think this is another reminder to me, that when it is my turn to be 'THE OLDER GENERATION'.. that I wont be a stubborn bull and I pray that I would master the skill of a humble heart that is still eager to learn even if its from the new generation. REMEMBER YOU NEVER STOP LEARNING.. yes... no matter how many degrees you got..

worst thing ever..

Remember my post on the Best thing ever?.. now I give you the worst thing ever. When things like these strike.. you cant help but admit we are only humans.. some, Even the Queen and the US President cannot run away from it...

20)Missed your flight

19)Last minute Suprise Quiz

18)Bad Hair day

17) Petrol price increased

16)Late for a movie

15) Force to eat something you dont like.. as a sign of respect

14) Having Bad breath

13)Slow restaurant service

12)Said something offensive without even thingking, then regreting later on

11)accidently jab your foot/finger into something sharp

10) Overslept- for school, work,0r important appointment

9)Being sick and alone

8) Headache attack during exams..

7)Forgotten your purse/wallet

6) Waiting for the bus to come which was suppose to be there 30 mins ago

5)Force to walk back home in the heavy rain because you forgotten to bring an umbrella

4)You are hungry and there is nothing to eat in the fridge in the middle of the night

3)slow internet, when you have an assignment due the NExt day!

2)Printer running out of ink in the middle of printing something important

1)Stuck in a traffic Jam and have to pee really badly

Got classmates in trouble for this.. those were the days

THis has nothing to do with anything, just another post that is meaningless.. pure meaningless.. oh, yeah those of you who have read something similar would understand.. Im sorry I am doing it here.. so like they say fool me once, your the fool, Fool me twice I'm the fool.. so lets see if you learn from past mistakes.. do we really learn from our experience?.. ok, STOP reading, you know this is useless, it does not mean a thing, I am bored and have nothing better to do.. I said Stop! stop it! stop your eyes from moving.. Why are you still reading?.. Go and do something useful.. Reading this wont make you any smarter or wiser.. trust me.. haih, yet you did not.. because YOU ARE STILL READING this!! walk away, out of sight out of mind.. Meaningless.. STOP! YOU, yes you.. stop.. Haiya!.. Dont blame me ahh.. I told you.. seriously you can do something more useful that this.. I just want to say Thanks for reading this to the end but yet you have gain nothing.. except maybe feel a little annoyed at me.. but hey! I warned you.. the end.. yup, serious.. thats the end.. STOP READING!!.. hahaha...

Swinging to the past..

I have always love swings.. I always had a 'Thing' for swings.. it is one of my faaavvouuuritesss, things to do in a playground.. something about swings just makes you feel free and happy.. that wind in your hair, that view of the world high up in the air.. the exciting feeling of going higher and higher.. ahh, magical.. If there is one thing I could wish for..it would be a tree swing behind my house...

Thinking of swings made me think of my past.. how far have I grown, am I proud of who I have become?.. I can honestly say my life have been blessed especially through the friends I have.. each and everyone whom I have shared a special bond with.. has made me who I am today.. friends who are real and sincere..

At age 16, I struggle with an Identity crisis.. my biggest fear was being a 'FAKE', I was a prefect in school yet I was not feared or worst hated like most of them, I didn't belong to a particular 'geng'.. I just floated around.. what scared me was how easily I can fit in, like a chameleon, all a while, I question myself.. but then came that faithful day, the day I'll never forget, a day that you ask me a question that I so disctreetly tried to hide from myself to answer, we had a fight, I can't remember why.. wait, I can.. I cant write it here.. but something about LOYALTY.. yes, yes.. you said to me.. "Have you ever wonder How come you can click with so many DIFFERENT people"?.. "nobody is really that nice,Tasha".. that sentence would always humble me down (should I do a little explaining?.. maybe not.. its over and we are still friends now..I'll leave you to intrepret it)..

Anyway, you did what you had to do, actually.. I really Thank you for that day.. you were really real with me, you observe something that maybe others did as well, but you came up and said it .. althought it hurt but it was something that I needed.. my journey of finding out who I was began from there.. was I really a nice person?, yeah.. how come I can talk to the so called gengsters of the school and still have respect from them as prefect?.. why did I sometimes ate lunch with the 'smart' kids?.. what about being known as the lame-joker in class? and the serious Leader in RC?.. why do I always seem like I am always Happy and have something to laugh about??.. Was I fake or real??...

My mission of being 'real' became my number one prority.. I just dont know where to start.. Thanks to ICCTs while we were praying for each other, as Pastor Ned was praying for me.. he said God told him, that He has made me a person that has the gift of happiness.. I know it sounds so simple and whimsical but it meant alot.. What I found out is that, I feel the Happiest when I can make a person smile.. I feel the closes to God, in away it was like My own personal way of worshipping Him.. by being me.. and making people Happy.. ( wow, try counting how many times I use the the word Happy).. haha.. it was all very true, the times I tried to shut myself from people, and so called be what I thought was real made it harder for me..

Honestly Im still learning, journey not over yet.. what does it mean to be real.. maybe thats why I tend to Observe ppl alot.. there are times, where I find myself being concious of my actions.. dont get me wrong, Im not a clown, I do know when to shut up and listen, and I have learn the art of honesty in friendship, you have to be Truthful but at the same time understanding.. not always giving the usual 'its-going to be ok' expected answer but using words that encourage and at the same time wakes them up.. this so far I have learned.. even as I started this blog I remember the first thing on my list is .. TO Be REal.. i did not want to be a different person on the internet as to real life... (go check out the first post in 2007).. Im sure its there.. .. (now, count how many times I wrote the word Real.. haha).. but sorry no prize... haha