The would, should, could have.. been..

Have you ever, think of your 'would' have, 'should' have and 'could' have moments?

Things would have been a different if I continued on.. I should have told my mum that, that one thing in my life I did not want to give up just because everything else has to change... I could have been.... a Ballerina...

Regrets.. but was it even my fault? seeing as I was still young maybe I didnt showed enough passion .. So it is God's plan then?.. sometimes I feel skill-less, or talent-less.. whilst other kids have piano lessons, or karate lessons to be proud of.. I could have been going for my ballet classes.

Sometimes I feel like I was rob of my chances.. now the tutu and the ballet shoes in the dressing room will always be a size too small for me..

*Edited- to anyone who reads this, I am still happy and content what I have and know.. like what they all say, "those who dont have talent, -----> can make others laugh"..

The Lost art of strolling..

Definition: To walk along or through at a leisurely pace.

I was reading an article on how the modern society has lost the art of 'strolling', I coundn't agree more. In uni everyday, I am surrounded by people walking toward different places, people who have classes to go to, assignments to hand in, presentation that need preparing.. everywhere is rush here, rush there.. As I continued on reading, I was amused when I read about a guy in a bussines suit strolling on the busy streets of New york, the writer wrote, the guy had a smile on his face and his hands in his pocket walking slowly, the writer explain that it was something very new to him because this guy looked almost lost like he did not fit into the picture of the rushing zombies.. 'going against the flow' I would put. Call me weird but I laughed when I was reading that particular part of the article.. How I wish I was there to see 'that guy'.

Why is it a lost art? because many years ago, looking into classical literatures and history books, notice many great inventors and artists get inspired by just strolling. Today everyone is walking with a GOal in mind, 'Get this done', 'have to do this first', 'what am I going to about this problem'.. very few, have time to just walk and letting our mind be free. The soul of strolling has something very special that this modern society has forgotten, that is to be at peace with one self and the world, To get away from 'the world' and just be inspired by everything around you.. Now, I fully understand the phares 'Take time to smell the roses'..

Its like a quiet time with God, I remembered Ps.Cheli telling us how sometimes its the hardest thing for a christian to do.. to just find a quiet time and let God speak to you.. praying is one thing but to be still and listening.. is a challenge to us all- the new generation.

So now, I have decided to start strolling, yes me -the can never sit still, always on go, and have so many places to go to tasha- I started one week ago, after class I would take the long route home, the rule.. NO RUSHING. it was hard at first because I had so many things in mind that I feel I needed to get done.. then I had to stop and retrace my thoughts, I laughed at myself for all the things I was thingking about. I coundn't belive how in just a few seconds my mind could jump to a list of chores and some was just silly.. example.. must be home by sun down (when it was just like 12 noon??) get homework done by 9'oclock because I want to watch tv??, or what to eat? if I cook this.. how about the veggie? the meat? .. or should I shower 1st or do homework? .. why am I walking so slow??.. =).. told you they were silly.. but so far its getting better.. and I walk slow even in the rain, .. a thought came to me from the Bible.. 'Let tommorrow worry for itself'.. see even God is asking to us chillax.. so I challege you all, yes! you the 'BUSY' one.. to start strolling.. you never know, what you will see and hopefully it will help you to feel more inspired in whatever you do..

* The picture is not exactly what many would call strolling, but I choose to intreperet it as away we should stroll, -gracefully like a ballet dancer.. =)

My Goal is....

to make you laugh.. =D???.. should I dye my hair??

What use to be and now...

"Natasha completed the quiz
"Which book of the Bible are
you?" with the result Ecclesiastes.
You're a hardheaded realist burned once too often
by the flaws of others and the emptiness of what society calls "success." Your
wisdom comes from the school of hard knocks, which makes you a great advisor.
You can't stand fake sunniness and social climbing; you're true, even if you're
a little blue. Your eyes are clear, so without denying the reality of evil, make
sure you also look at the goodness that's taking place around you. "
.

As you can see I took a quiz on 'which book in the Bible am I'.. just for fun on facebook, (yup, trust me to do this kind of quiz instead of all the other silly ones).. what made me do it? well firstly, the title looks interesting, secondly I was curious on how the end results would look like..

Surprisingly it was not bad.. not bad at all, (this is because some quiz gives really weird answers ) Ecclesiates ey? when I was reading it at first I felt like.. NO! this is so not me.. then you know, when you start to question yourself and wonder.. you start to justify what kind of person WHO you SAY YOU ARE.. for me it was I am a happy person! I like sunniness and trees!

Then, you know how your train of thoughts just wonders and that train starts to blow steams from the past?.. I look back and yeah.. maybe I am a hard headed realist.. its true, I have been through alot in my whole 19 yrs living in this world. Mature I am, seeing, learning and experincing things that could make any person go crazy if they were living in my shoes.. at a very young age my sisters and I learn that the 'common rule in life' doesnt really apply to anyone.. we learn that not all grown ups are good and trustworthy people, Family members arent necessarily going to be loyal to you, and that money may not bring happiness but it gives you peace of mind.

All those I've learn at a tender age of 7. oh yeah, Im not boasting if say at that age I may have been more mature than any 20 year old at that time.. You see, I sometimes see age as nothing but a number and I can understand the logic of the longer you live the more you experince things, of course its true but only to a certain degree. Everyone goes through problems in life but I belive the only difference is the capacity of it all. I am not ignorant to how crazy the world has become this pass century and how suffering is no laughing matter. But all I can say is everytime I meet a person I try not to judge because I know that everyone is fighting their own battle, some stronger than others.

Yes, coming back to the quiz, its weird how words are connected right? how I jump shift thinking, that being a realist is being mature, and to like all the sunniness is being immature per se.. but what I am tiring to say is maybe it is true the first half but I belive that I have already pass the looking into the good side of the world. Another level of spiritual maturity I suppose. I believe God has brought about change in my life, guess thats why I appriciate the observer part of me.

So, its not immaturity that makes me happy when the sun comes out, or enjoying people's laughther and tiring to find 'good' in everything I see.. it is the outcome of being fed up of being a negative realist. Isn't it interesting how a quiz can make me think.. haha, just for fun try it but dont take it too seriously.. am I contradicting myself?

A friendly reminder..

"Either the Bible will keep you away from Sin, Or Sin
will keep you away from the Bible"
(anonymous)

The Mirror and the bed

Happy? Content?.. at peace with yourself.. comfortable.. how do you know if you really are Happy-content-at peace and comfortable with youreslf?.. how do know if that smile on your face is really genuine? How do you wake up in the morning feeling ready to face the world and go to sleep without any regrets?.. are you really who others see you as?

The Mirror and the Bed.. both have special meanings to me..

The Mirror- You can be the most good looking person on earth. The Smartest. The most Popular. The Riches. but if you cannot make the person in the mirror look back at you and be proud of all the things you have done.. then happiness per se is not found..

The Bed- To sleep, is to be at peace. To rest your mind..To rest, is a daily act of surrendering.. no force is involve. If you cannot sleep in peace, if you cannot surrender , you are not at rest.. therefore you are not comfortable.. happiness in freedom again is not found...


Me being me, like looking at things in different ways.. oh yeah.. isnt it amazing how these two objects are found in our rooms.. In our own private place.. these two things that see's us in a way no one else does.. Hypocrite detectors I would like to call them.. =)..How the first thing you see is the mirror and the last place you end up is on your bed.. You look in the mirror.. you reflect back on your bed..

So ask yourself.. are you proud of the way you have been living? can you
look in the mirror? Can you say all this while your prayers at night are
sincere.?.

The INGERISH

Sometimes, the english language makes me laugh.. so much so, that this pass few days I have been gathering some common phrases in the english world (those who have me in their facebook, would understand =D).. anyway.. these are a few sentences that we normally use that sometimes does not make sense.. plus some smart come backs that you wish you could say..

1) Not back yet?.. well obviously, me standing here is just another fragment of your imagination..
2) Are you all right?.. No, Its just normal for me to tear up when I accidently stab my toe...
3) I know exactly how you feel... well, to say exactly is abit impossible, counting on the place and the time, and how things happen..
4) You look sick.. gee thanks, as if me coughing and sneezing my brains out was not obvious enough..
5).. it actually means... so if it actually means that, than why doesn't it just say that??

Paradoxically English

English is a very peculiar language that I will grant

E.g. there’s no ham in hamburger or egg in the eggplant

Many foreign visitors never quite manage to grapple

With the fact that there is no pine or apple in a pineapple

English muffins were not invented in England in fact

And French fries were not invented in France to be exact

But if foreigners can’t understand us I don’t give a fig

If a guinea pig is not from Guinea and its not even a pig

So what if Quicksand takes you down slowly, who cares?

And does it matter if the Boxing rings are really squares

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